Succession — which is objectively the greatest artistic accomplishment in the history of all mankind and anyone who disagrees can kindly f**k off — ends its four-season run Sunday night.
And just like illustrators who live in Brooklyn, we here at US Bets aren’t above placing a friendly wager or three on just what will happen on this show. We’ve done it before, we did it again, and now, for the last time (and pardon me for getting all choked up like Roman Roy attempting a eulogy), we present to you the final fake odds breakdown for Succession. To be clear, these markets are not available at regulated sportsbooks — all odds cited here are for entertainment purposes only.
Let’s start at the top, where our oddsmakers see it as a two-horse race.
Who will be the CEO of Waystar Royco?
Kendall Roy -200: Yes, our number-one boy tops the charts here. Last episode he came as close to filling his father’s shoes as he’s ever come. He may have lost his ex-wife Rava, his kids, and his assistant Jess in the process, but he gained Hugo, Colin, and, seemingly, a sense of purpose. Will Kendall be happy with this deal? There’s more than a whiff of Michael Corleone lingering about him right now. But if this show is truly a Shakespearean tragedy, Kendall rises to power and loses everything in the process.
Cousin Greg +125: I know. Cousin Greg. As second-favorite? The sims must be broken.
First things first: In the run-up to season 3, our oddsmakers (OK, fine, me) wrote the following when making Greg a 100/1 shot to be in control of the company at the end of that season: “Ask me again in the final season, as that’s my official prediction for future CEO, it would be so perfect.” US Bets colleague Mike Seely has also been beating this drum all season long in our Slack conversation about the show. Greg has managed to weasel his way up the ranks, and now he’s apparently “in” with Lukas Matsson after a night of dancing with an old man and drinking things that aren’t normally drinks.
So if Lukas gains control of the company, Greg has a legit shot of being the American CEO (thanks to Shiv for the idea) and would be the perfect yes-man for Lukas. Or … Greg’s grandpappy Ewan somehow becomes the deciding vote in the boardroom and gets Greg to be his lapdog. Either way, Greg’s ascension is in play. Also: If this show is not a Shakespearean tragedy and instead a Shakespearean comedy, Greg as CEO is the only way it can end.
Lukas Matsson +250: Yeah, it just seems anticlimactic for Lukas to walk away with the prize. I suppose it works if he installs Greg, but that’s the only scenario I see playing out with Lukas as chief.
Shiv Roy +500: Shiv has been a step behind throughout the entire series. She’s also the only one who maybe, if you squint hard enough, has an ounce of decency about her (question mark). Does she even really want the job? Maybe she and Tom can have a — gasp! — happy ending here?
Roman Roy +1000: There’s no crying at funerals, Romulus.
Tom Wambsgans +2000: Honestly, it will be a minor miracle if he’s not on a bus back to Minnesota by episode’s end.
The field: +5000: This is probably a good bet, as it includes literally every other human being who ever, or may ever, appear on Succession. But Gerri, Karl, Frank, Stewie and company, or anyone else would bring “anticlimactic” to new levels. It seems impossible it will end this way, but sure, maybe a little sprinkle at these odds isn’t the worst idea.
The final scene
Tony Soprano looking up. Don Draper coming up with the Coke jingle. Bob Newhart waking up next to Suzanne Pleshette. The best shows have the best endings. And while it’s impossible to guess what will happen, it certainly is worth guessing who — or what — the camera will linger on last.
Kendall Roy -250: A lot of episodes end with a shot of Kendall. Why not this one as he assumes the role of Waystar Royco chief?
A helicopter or private jet +125: Flying off with who knows who or what on board, into the NYC sunset.
Logan Roy +150: Just a lingering shot of a sneering portrait of the since-deceased pater familias, who, despite being very much dead, still casts the longest shadow.
(A very confused) Cousin Greg +250: If it’s a comedy, then yessireebob.
Roman or Shiv Roy +450: Only if they’re walking away from the business to seek greener and happier pastures.
The field +800: Leave it to the creators of this show to introduce a new character in the last episode and that person’s mug is the last one we see.
Odds and ends
Will Tom and Shiv get back together? No -150, Yes +125: Shiv softened in telling Tom to go back to their old apartment and get some rest. In the world of Succession, this was the equivalent of the world’s largest olive branch being extended. Besides, is anyone not rooting for these two kids to actually break the cycle of Roy misery?
Will Roman Roy survive the episode? Yes -600, No +500: Would the creators of the show dare kill off Roman in the last episode? Seems unlikely, but Roman’s state of mind at the end of Episode 9 was, well, a little bit not great. Is this a death spiral, or a brief respite from his many-windowed penthouse life?
Will Roman’s d**k pic be seen again? No -10000, Yes +1500: Feels like it doesn’t need to be addressed.
Will Kendall’s waiter “situation” enter the chat? No -600, Yes +500: Much like many of the plot threads on Lost, this one will probably not be brought to conclusion. Unless this is a case of “Chekhov’s dead waiter.” But after all this, it would seem like Kendall’s case of … let’s call it “light manslaughter” … won’t be enough to do him in. Besides, he has Colin on board. But then again, Marcia also knows. I don’t know. Tough one. The oddsmakers may be off here.
Do we see Karl sunning himself on a Greek Isle? One can only hope. No odds posted.
Photo: Getty Images